Do you find it difficult to get upset with people who seem to only want to serve you?  Actually, don’t you find yourself being attracted to people who attend to you?  I think this is especially true in a culture neck deep in selfishness.

Jesus taught the concept and modeled it in lifestyle.  Seek to serve not be served, don’t lord over people, and sit and the tail end of the table.  What would happen if everyone did this where you work?  Live?  Go to school?

Here’s a final thought on this for married people: what would your marriage look like if all you cared about was serving your partner?  None of this, “what about me, them first, or that’s not fair.”  Instead, what if you just sought to act like Jesus and became a servant as unto the Lord?  Try it for 30 days and see if things improve.

(See 2 Cor. 5:14-15; Gal. 5:13)

What do you do when life seems unfair?  You might have an accident that wasn’t your fault, a health condition that won’t go away, or get laid off from a job you love.  You could be the victim of road rage, a partner that lied, or coach that won’t let your kid play in the game.

Too often we resort to fighting back and giving into our fleshly nature.  This can involve fabricating a victim mentality and whining about our situation.  We try to defend our position with stating our case, making our claim and talking a lot.  There’s an innate desire to excuse ourselves from wrong and let the world know that every demon in the world is targeting us.

Even if every demon is after us will all the moaning and groaning fix it?  Will the constant dripping of our complaining turn the situation around?

I believe there’s an alternative.  Could a difference be made if we laughed at our problems, sang in our prison and rejoiced in our trials?  What might happen if we saw our stumbling block as a stepping stone, our problem as an opportunity, our adversity as an advantage to grow?

Isn’t this the attitude Jesus displayed?  And in case you think, “Yeah, but that was Jesus!”  How about Paul, Silas, Stephen, Peter, James and countless others?

Sure it isn’t easy to respond instead of react, but it’s far more attractive and much more of what we’re called to be.

(See James 1:2-4)

What is one question you could ask that would most likely improve your marriage?  I was thinking about that this week and came up with this one: “what’s it like to be you?”

It is kind of a new twist on treat others and you would have them treat you, only it’s not how you want to be treated, but what do they need?  Instead of trying to give others what we want, why not put yourself in their shoes?  Maybe you’ve heard, “Walk a mile in another man’s moccasins” before passing judgment.

What if you took the time to contemplate, “What is it like to be my spouse?”  That means, being married to someone like you!  Someone that treats them, speaks to them, answers them, and reacts to them like you and others do.  If you had to walk in his or her moccasins, what would you want someone else to do for you: Be quiet, sit there with you, pray with you, hold your hand, or take you out for fun?

Try asking the question and see how it changes your perspective and if it helps your marriage.  Also, see you if you can come up with other great questions to improve your marriage and feel free to share them.

**More help is coming as Crossroads’ hosts the ART OF MARRIAGE WEEKEND on March 6 & 7.

I like much of the nation, was so disappointed in the loss suffered last weekend by the Seattle Seahawks.  As you know, Seattle appeared to have the game won in the final seconds, but do to a controversial play call, the ball was intercepted and New England was crowned the champs (and the universe grieved).

What do you do when life hands you a disappointment?  Here are some reasons for setbacks:

• Our own dumb choices and decisions
• Other people’s dumb choices and decisions that affect us
• What some people call “dumb luck” or the effects of living in a sinful world where things don’t always go our way.

So, how can we turn our setbacks into set-ups for greater success in the future?   What can you do to turn your disappointments into desired results?  Here are some lessons to apply:

• Failure is a great teacher on what not to do next.
• Failure is never final, unless you fail to get back up.
• People will do dumb, hurtful and heartbreaking things, but God is still faithful and there are plenty of people that will encourage you if you’ll get around them.  If you don’t know any, then you need to get out and find them.
• Everyone makes mistakes, so just because you made one doesn’t make you a failure, it makes you human.
• God specializes in turning failure to triumph, loss into victory and hurt into healing.

If you have recently suffered a setback, failure or disappointment, don’t give up, give in or quit.  Instead, be more determined than the devil and get back up, shake yourself off, pray to God for strength and go out and face the world again.  You can do it!