Here’s what won’t get conflict resolved or less conflict in your life: becoming more selfish.  It’s true that conflict is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to be fatal.

Should the toilet paper go over or under? Must we squeeze the toothpaste in the middle or from the bottom?  Which paper towels should we buy, full sheets or half?  Why do these become big issues?  The reason is often that there is already an unresolved tension that we either refuse to deal with or have learned to ignore.  It isn’t going away, so you might as well deal with it.

The key to dealing with differences and resolving conflict in a positive manner is our selfishness.  We have to give up our right to be right, to win the argument and be in control.

Proverbs 13:10 “Pride leads to arguments. Be humble, take advice, and become wise.” Don’t let pride keep you from peace, love and joy in your home, workspace or friendships.  Kill your pride before it kills your connections.

My emotions got the best of me!  Ever hear someone say that?  What they are usually communicating is that there was a circumstance and rather than thinking rationally, they reacted emotionally.

We see this play out in marriages, when the pressures of finances are causing unusual stress and then someone says, “Well, if you didn’t spend so much” or “If you made more money” and things escalate from there.

Last weekend, we took a look at making emotional decisions and the danger of doing so.  It got me thinking of how God made us emotional beings, but he also made us spiritual at the same time.  Yesterday I was reading the Apostle Paul’s writing in 2 Corinthians 6 about many of the stressful things he had endured.  Then, when it comes to explaining how he got through it, he says it was “in the Holy Spirit.”  In other words, Paul says, “The way I got through all these emotional times in my life was through the help of the Holy Spirit.”

What would happen if you made it a personal goal to yield more and more to the Holy Spirit and less to your emotions?

What might that look like for you?

Try these:

• Pray each morning: Holy Spirit, I yield and surrender to you today”
• Practice being more attentive to what your spirit says over your emotions
• Read passages about the Holy Spirit & our emotions (Gal 5; Eph 4:17-5:21)

The more you practice living in the Spirit, the more your emotions will come under the control of the Spirit.  I think you’ll find your foot spends less time in your mouth, which can lead to athlete’s tongue and other issues! 🙂

I’ve been reading Ephesians this week and I can’t get away from the emphasis Paul puts on unity, one another and joining together.  Why such a push for this coming together?  I think God knows our tendency of focusing way too much on ourselves. We think about ourselves all the time and so little on others.  All that changes when we come together though, especially in worship.

In worship, I begin to focus on God first of all.  At least that’s what true worship does.  I come before Him offering my life, my lips and my legacy (or future).  When I do that, it becomes all about Him.  What He wants me to do, how He wants me to act, where He wants me to go, instead of my thoughts, ways and agenda.

Also, when I get around God’s people and get busy serving them, I don’t have as much time to think about my needs, wants and desires.  In other words, I’m not near the selfish slug that I woke up being this morning.  Instead, I make my life about helping others, serving their needs, and ministering to their concerns.

True worship brings us to a place of unity where our desires are placed under His and others.  Where He can teach us to be unselfish.  The result is that the world sees that submission and the power of God flowing through it, and wants more of it.

Guest post by John Money:

Today is day 20 of our 21 day church-wide Fast.  I trust that this has been a time of connection to Christ and spiritual growth for you. I have heard many testimonies of how our fellow fasters are experiencing a deeper connection with Christ.  Many have expressed a sense of Jesus being near, speaking more clearly, and more visibly leading their lives.

This is what our hearts truly long for!  Connection with Jesus and following His leading for our lives.

As we come to the close of our Fast, I am focusing on re-affirming to Jesus that I want Him to lead me.  I want him to reign in me.  I pray that you too will join with me in saying, “Jesus, lead me.”

A great verse to meditate on as we close our season of fasting is found in the book of Revelation.  In this verse Jesus says……

“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.” (Revelation 3:20)

Jesus is standing at the door of your life….the door of your heart….the door of your mind and is saying, ”Here I am, please let me in”

I am praying that each of us will hear him knocking, open the door, and let Him in!  Let’s fight against self-sufficiency and say to Jesus, “Please lead me Lord!”

Is it easier to have Jesus as Savior rather than Lord?  It seems to me that we have a much easier time giving Jesus our sins than we do submitting to His Lordship over our lives daily.  What troubles me is the question, “Does He really offer that option?”  Can you pick Savior without making Him Lord? 

How is it in your life?  Are you trying for the “Save me from my sins and especially eternity in hell, but I’ll handle the direction of my life”? 

Maybe you’re not getting the full benefit of what Jesus came to bring because you haven’t fully surrendered.  Perhaps you’ve confused submission with weakness, or loss.  What I’ve discovered in my life is the more I submit, the more power I receive. 

Is this a struggle for you?  Be honest with yourself and ask, “Am I trying to have Jesus be my Savior without being my Lord”?