It’s so ironic that to find happiness you must stop looking for it.  Why is that?  When you make your personal happiness your mission in life then life is all about you.  That leads to selfishness, which leads to a non-fulfilling life.

If you think that buying the new television will make you happy, then you won’t be happy for long because they are coming out with a new one.  Researchers describe the so-called “hedonic treadmill” hypothesis, which holds that people rapidly adjust to improved situations; thus, as soon as they acquire some new delight—a second house, a third car, a fourth-generation iPhone—their expectations ramp upward, and they are left no happier than before.

So, if the pursuit of happiness is not going to bring me happiness, then what will?

Research shows that people are more energized about life when they are using their strengths for a bigger purpose beyond themselves.  Before researchers discovered this, Jesus said, “If try to keep your life for yourself, you will lose it.  But if you give up your life for me, you will find true life.”

The happiest people I know are those who serve the Lord right here at Crossroads each week.  There is a sense of satisfaction, fulfillment and empowerment that comes from serving like nothing else I know.

How about you?  Are your greatest moments when you dared to step out and do something beyond yourself?  If you know you were meant for more, what can you  do for others that will help you find true life?

The longer I live the more convinced I become in the value of relationships.  Some express it this way, “It’s not what you know, but who you know” that makes the difference.  Quite honestly, I think much of that is true.  But, it’s not just because you can get your relatives to get you a job somewhere. (Although, that can be nice)  The way to get the job of your dreams is often because of what you learn from others.

The right people around you can teach you things you didn’t know.  Like having a 12 year old help you know how to use your smart phone.  Or, having an 80 year old couple tell you how they stayed together for the past 60 years.

Getting the right people together for the right reasons can lift you to another level.  Likewise, the wrong people can take you down to a level you never thought you’d be.  The Bible says, “Bad company corrupts good character.”  So, it IS important who you spend your time with and allow to speak into your life.

Perhaps it’s time to look at who you allow into your inner circle and see if there needs to be some changes.  It’s never too early to have the right people in your life, but it could be too late.  Don’t let that happen.

Think back, is there a time your life went to another level simply because of being with the right person at the right time?

One of the most important roles that a parent can play in the life of a child is reinforcement.  Children do not learn things the first time around – unfortunately.  So, a parent has to be ready to reinforce the things that are important time and time again, believing that this will be the time it takes hold.

I know this doesn’t sound fun, can be draining and even seem futile at times, but kids need reinforcement of the things that are important.  You may have told them that brushing their teeth is important, but they may not think it’s that valuable and is stealing some of their playtime.  So, a good parent reinforces why it’s necessary to take good care of your teeth by saying, “You’ll thank me one day for helping you with this when you don’t have to be in pain one day.”

Parents work hard, plus have so many irons in the fire and obligations that it can seem overwhelming to have to remind your children of good behavior, but keep your eye on the long run.  It may be taxing to have to continually say the same or similar things over and over again, but many of us learn by repetition.  So, suck it up parents and stop whining at your kids and instead step it up and reinforce values.  It may take a lot longer than you think for them to catch on, but when they do, you’ll be glad you stuck with it.

What are some other principles you think are important in parenting?

The power of consistency is easily overlooked.  Do you remember the story of the tortoise and the hare?  It looked like that silly rabbit was going to win the race because of how fast he started, but the race went to the one who just kept going.  The tortoise wasn’t as exciting to watch, but he still won.

How many people do you know that started well but ended bad?  Or, what great thoughts have you had that go something like this, “I’m going to start my own business one day”?  Only you’re no closer to starting that business now than you were the day you said it 5 years ago.

What if instead of wishing for this incredible future, you just did something a little extra each day?  Think about how your goal might be accomplished one day at a time.  Rather than sitting back and dreaming of what might happen one day, why not take a small step toward your dream today?

There are no overnight success stories.  If you know someone that’s successful, it’s because there was a lot of prep time going on that you might not have seen.  Failure can come instantly, but not success.  If you want to get a better knowledge of the Bible, then read at least some of it today.  If you want to get to know others and build quality Christian friendships, then join a Life group today.

Moses spent 40 years in the desert before becoming the hero to lead the Israelites out of Egyptian bondage.  David was a shepherd for many years after being identified as Israel’s next king before it happened.  Even Jesus spent up to age 30 as a carpenter before bursting on the scene as the Messiah.

My point is, don’t miss the value of the steady, daily, incremental improvements that later show up as success.  How do you want to change this year?  What life goal or dream remains unfulfilled?  Why not at least take a small step in that direction today?  Remember the tortoise, inch by inch it’s a cinch.

A small step today can lead to big things tomorrow.

God has been speaking to me lately about the power of questions. A well placed question can help to bring incredible clarity, understanding and direction. For example: Why do you allow him to treat you that way? That one question can help a person evaluate an abusive situation and take ownership and lead to action.

Here’s some questions that might be good to ask heading into a New Year:
What didn’t work well for me in 2011?
What did I promise that I would do last year that I failed to complete?
What would it take to complete it in this coming year and make it a priority?
Who do I need to get around more often in the New Year?
Who do I need to spend less time with next year?
What fear do I need to conquer in 2012?
What excuses kept me from doing more this year? How can I stop making them?
What do I feel God might be leading me more & more into? (New ministry, witnessing, giving…)
What first step do I need to take to achieve greater alignment with God in 2012?

These are just a few I thought of, do you have any great questions to be asked heading into a New Year?

Merry Christmas from Crossroads Church of Avon on Vimeo.

Do you remember how agonizing it was to wait for Christmas as a child?  It seemed like forever to get from Thanksgiving to Christmas.  Now, as an adult, it seems like Christmas comes too fast!

Does it seem like you are in a waiting period in your life currently?  Waiting on a job, or a marriage, healing, direction can seem to take forever to happen.  It can even seem like God is late in bringing these things into your life can’t it?

The very first Christmas seemed like God was late to those who were waiting for Messiah to come.  It had been hundreds of years and yet each year they were disappointed.  But the Scripture teaches that it all happened at the “proper time” (Luke 1:20).

The lesson is that God has a “proper time” for everything.  He’s never late and He’s always on time.  But, it’s His calendar and not ours!   In the meantime what do you do?

• Don’t lose hope.  Things could change tomorrow.
• Never give up.  God can do anything at anytime without restrictions.
• Do allow this waiting time to be a time of growth spiritually.
• Keep trusting in the God who still has a plan for the world and you!

It may look like a dark night, but remember, it did in Bethlehem 2000 years ago when hope was born!

One of the most important roles that a parent can play in the life of a child is reinforcement.  Children do not learn things the first time around – unfortunately.  So, a parent has to be ready to reinforce the things that are important time and time again, believing that this will be the time it takes hold.

I know this doesn’t sound fun, can be draining and even seem futile at times, but kids need reinforcement of the things that are important.  You may have told them that brushing their teeth is important, but they may not think it’s that valuable and is stealing some of their playtime.  So, a good parent reinforces why it’s necessary to take good care of your teeth by saying, “You’ll thank me one day for helping you with this when you don’t have to be in pain one day.”

Parents work hard, have so many irons in the fire and obligations and it can seem overwhelming to have to remind your children of good behavior, but keep your eye on the long run.  It may be taxing to have to continually say the same or similar things over and over again, but many of us learn by repetition.  So, suck it up parents and stop whining at your kids and instead step it up and reinforce values.  It may take a lot longer than you think for them to catch on, but when they do, you’ll be glad you stuck with it.

Songs talk about this being the most wonderful time of the year and yet it can be a source of depression for many.  Some feel the loss of loved ones greater at the holidays; some aren’t close to family and feel isolated, while others might have financial pressures that make it stressful.  There are countless reasons to get depressed, but how can you avoid it?

Last weekend we looked at this topic in depth and here are the main things discovered:

• Stop Hiding It.  Until you admit your depressed no one can help you.
• Ask For Help.  This may mean joining a Life Group, go to counseling, or visit a doctor.
• Take Action Today.  Delay keeps us down.  Quit postponing & procrastinating.  You know what you need to do, now go do it!  Make the phone call or set up the appointment.
• Seek The Healer.  Jesus wants to help you more than you know.  Don’t doubt Him, attempt to hide from Him or run from Him.  Instead, we need to run to Him.  (Ps. 147:3; Isaiah 61:1-3)

Satan will try to get you to focus on what’s wrong with your life, on things you don’t have, and the hardships of life.  Instead of biting his bait, fix your eyes, mind and senses on what you do have and the promise of God to never leave you or abandon you.  It may look dark at the moment, but hope and help is on the way and God can turn things around for you.  Don’t give up, instead take action and I believe you’ll begin to come out from under the dark clouds of despair into a new day full of God’s sunshine.

One of the things that lifts me is positive, uplifting music.  What works for you?  Whatever it is, take time to activate it in your life today.

Is it just me or do harsh words seem to last longer in your memory than positive ones?  Do you find yourself being defined by words that were spoken over you in the past?  Maybe statements like, “You don’t fit in, I don’t love you anymore, you don’t measure up or have what it takes.”  Comments like these can cause us to compromise our morals in an attempt to be accepted or loved.  They also can tempt us to perform in order to prove that we are good enough.  Others choose to cling onto even unhealthy relationships in an attempt to find validation from people.

There’s a better way.  Instead of basing our security and confidence as a person on the acceptance of people, we can get our worth from the acceptance of Christ.  Last weekend we looked at 3 parts of our position in Christ, we are:

Forgiven

Secure

Free

This means you no longer have to defined by your past and what others have spoken over you.  God has spoken something even more powerful over you – you are forgiven, you are secure, you are free!  It’s time to shut the door on those negative voices and rise up and open the door of what Christ says about you.  Get yourself plugged into the Word of God and what it says about you.  (In 2012 we will be promoting daily Bible reading – but you can start today!)

Replace the lies of the enemy of your soul with the truth of God’s Word and you’ll feel yourself getting stronger every day.  Go ahead and try it for a week and see what happens.  (I’d suggest starting by reading the book of Philippians)   Do you have some verses that encourage you?  Make a list a go over them until you believe it about yourself.